Skip to main content

Squeeze Some Breasts and Save a Life -- Breast Cancer Awareness

I like breasts. They are functional, fun, and aesthetically pleasing.

October is Breast Cancer Awareness month.

One of the most terrifying questions a woman will ask herself is "Is that a lump?"

If you're a man... and you like breasts... there are three things you should do.

First, donate.

There are several reputable charities that do research, treatment, recovery, support and prevention. Men, if you enjoy breasts as much as SunFyre, please donate.

I'm aware of three national charities that are very reputable. They are the Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer Foundation, National Breast Cancer Foundation, and the American Cancer Society.

Additionally, many communities have breast cancer treatment foundations and endowments. Contact your local hospital or United Way and ask them what charities would benefit from your donations locally.

Second... buy something pink.

If you're not secure enough in your sexuality to wear it, give it to a woman that you love. Every year women's clothing stores and a variety of other department stores support Breast Cancer by offering pink products and donating a portion of the proceeds to Breast Cancer charities. They usually contain a pink ribbon, the symbol for Breast Cancer support.

If you happened to be the owner of the store that men frequent, I urge you to create your own products. I think there should be a breast cancer first person shooter game, preferably one with zombies. Zombies are cool.

Finally, and perhaps most importantly, squeeze some breasts.

Seriously. While annual doctor's visits are important, and breast self-examination is also important, many lumps are discovered by male partners. All breasts have a little fibrous tissue that can be felt. One indicator is changes in this tissue. Men often notice these changes, simply because they are typically paying attention when they manipulate a woman's breasts. A physician only sees a particular woman once a year, and can only notice problems if lumps are large, or if they show up on a mammogram. A husband can monitor the situation weekly, or perhaps daily, and the test is far less expensive!

One small warning... please make sure you have permission of the woman that you intend to examine. She may not find your willingness to save her life a comfort if she doesn't know it's coming. For example, as I've experienced myself, the large breasted woman in front of you at the checkout counter at the grocery store, while her life may be at risk, may also have a brick in her purse. Ouch!

All kidding aside, best wishes for women and their families affected by this disease.

Each October I usually write a blog post about how much we like them, and how men should be more involved in Breast Cancer awareness. This year it's a little more personal.

Last November I lost one of my closest family friends to breast cancer. Diane and my mother met while they were both pregnant. My mother gave birth to me and Diane gave birth to a little girl named Dawn 10 days later. Diane was a nurse and my mother was a substitute teacher; at that time both low-paying jobs. They would babysit for each other because neither could afford child care. Dawn and I became lifelong friends, and "Aunt Diane" as I called her became like a second mother. Diane Sandstedt died last November; she was 57.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

People who died on the toilet (real people and fictional characters)

Famous people who died on the toilet. Here is an extensive list of real people who died on the throne. Elvis Presley died of an overdose, falling off the toilet into a pile of his own vomit. Judy Garland died of an overdose discovered slumped over her toilet. King George II of Britain suffered a heart attack while sitting on the toilet. Wenceslaus III of Bohemia assassinated with a spear while he sat on the toilet. Godfrey IV, Duke of Lower Lorraine, was attacked by an assassin while sitting on the toilet. He died a week after the attack. Japanese warlord Uesugi Kenshin was assassinated with a spear while sitting on the toilet. British author Evelyn Waugh, who coincidently also married a woman named Evelyn, died on his toilet. Some believe he drowned in it, however his official cause of death was heart failure. Famed architect Louis Kahn suffered a heart attack and died on the toilet in New York City’s Penn station. One of the early Christian preachers, Arius, had been condemned as a…

More Realistic Anniversary Gift Traditions

New Anniversary Gifts Destined to become Traditional My wife and I have been married for 20 years today. Over the past 20 years I made efforts each year to observe the traditional anniversary gifts. Some of them are certainly more difficult than others, and many of them are hard to find gift worthy in the modern age.
Therefore, I offer you a modern take on anniversary gifts. How many of these will become traditional?
First Anniversary – The Ramen Noodle anniversary. Let’s face it, you blew $30,000 on the wedding, and your student loan debt hasn’t gone anywhere. Share a Cup O’ Noodles. Eat with chopsticks on the floor because you can’t yet afford a couch.
Second Anniversary – The Puppy Anniversary. She’s been looking at you with those eyes that say she wants to start a family, but you just bought a new couch. Get her a puppy instead.
Third Anniversary – The Kinky Lingerie Anniversary. Leather, silk or lace can re-fire the engines after a year of flannel pajamas that smell like the puppy,…

How United Airlines Should Have Handled the Situation

United Airlines is under fire for a viral video that shows them removing a passenger forcibly from an airplane bound for Louisville Kentucky.
Here are the bullets:

The plane was already loaded and full.The airline needed to fly four employees to Louisville Kentucky on the plane. The employees needed to go to prevent another plane from departing late.The airline offered $800 in compensation to the first four people who would volunteer to give up their seats. No one took the offer.The airline went to a lottery, drawing for people at random. These four people were asked to leave the plane, and they would receive the compensation.One of the passengers refused to leave. It's unclear how things escalated, however he was removed by security officers. Reports are conflicting about whether the officers were police officers, TSA workers, or airline staff.The gentleman was literally physically dragged down the aisle receiving while screaming in protest and physically abused in the process.Ap…