Skip to main content

26 Excuses for Calling in Sick

I'm of the philosophy "Why waste a perfectly good Sick Day at home sick?" I'd much rather use sick days for mental health than physical health. I don't recommend you adopt my philosophy, frankly it hasn't served me well, and is one of the many reasons I'm currently self-employed. But, if you aren't self-employed, and you need a reason to call off from work, here's 20 of them actually used, according to the article.

  • I was sprayed by a skunk.

  • I tripped over my dog and was knocked unconscious.

  • My bus broke down and was held up by robbers.

  • I was arrested as a result of mistaken identity.

  • I forgot to come back to work after lunch.

  • I couldn't find my shoes.

  • I hurt myself bowling.

  • I was spit on by a venomous snake.

  • I totaled my wife's jeep in a collision with a cow.

  • A hitman was looking for me.

  • My curlers burned my hair and I had to go to the hairdresser.

  • I eloped.

  • My brain went to sleep and I couldn't wake it up.

  • My cat unplugged my alarm clock.

  • I had to be there for my husband's grand jury trial.

  • I had to ship my grandmother's bones to India.

  • I forgot what day of the week it was.

  • Someone slipped drugs in my drink last night.

  • A tree fell on my car.

  • My monkey died.

Let's take this a step further. Send me excuses you actually have used. Here's a couple of mine.

  • My wheelchair broke down.

  • The lift on my van is stuck open.

  • The city bus driver didn't know how to operate the wheelchair lift.

  • It's way too cold outside to leave the house.

  • It's way too nice outside to be in the office.

  • I had race tickets for Sunday's race, which was rained out, so they are running it today.

  • My wife will be having two babies tomorrow. I'll be busy catching.


Popular posts from this blog

Friday Funnies: a couple LOLcats and one shameless plug

Is this the new flavor at Kungaloosh Gourmet Tea Company?

Friday Funnies: Funny Retail Signs

Well, it's Friday so maybe you're planning to do a little shopping tonight. Watch carefully, and you might find some entertaining retail signage such as these. Here's a collection of funny retail signs from around the globe, mostly from the good old USA.

If you're planning to stay overnight, make sure you have a shilling and a few extra pence if you need to stable your horse. Here are the Rules of Inn.

After Christmas wrapping paper goes on sale, and so does Rapping paper, apparently.

Special offers are everywhere! You can get two drinks for the price of two! Don't worry, after four you won't notice how much you're spending anyhow.

Sometimes no caption is necessary.

But I'm so hot.  I'm sure everyone inside doesn't mind looking at me.

I didn't even bother going inside.  Clearly I would violate several of these store rules.

This was seen on a Dairy Queen drive through.  I always keep my secret ice cream money in my underwear.

You should pay a…

How United Airlines Should Have Handled the Situation

United Airlines is under fire for a viral video that shows them removing a passenger forcibly from an airplane bound for Louisville Kentucky.
Here are the bullets:

The plane was already loaded and full.The airline needed to fly four employees to Louisville Kentucky on the plane. The employees needed to go to prevent another plane from departing late.The airline offered $800 in compensation to the first four people who would volunteer to give up their seats. No one took the offer.The airline went to a lottery, drawing for people at random. These four people were asked to leave the plane, and they would receive the compensation.One of the passengers refused to leave. It's unclear how things escalated, however he was removed by security officers. Reports are conflicting about whether the officers were police officers, TSA workers, or airline staff.The gentleman was literally physically dragged down the aisle receiving while screaming in protest and physically abused in the process.Ap…