Skip to main content

26 Excuses for Calling in Sick

I'm of the philosophy "Why waste a perfectly good Sick Day at home sick?" I'd much rather use sick days for mental health than physical health. I don't recommend you adopt my philosophy, frankly it hasn't served me well, and is one of the many reasons I'm currently self-employed. But, if you aren't self-employed, and you need a reason to call off from work, here's 20 of them actually used, according to the article.

  • I was sprayed by a skunk.

  • I tripped over my dog and was knocked unconscious.

  • My bus broke down and was held up by robbers.

  • I was arrested as a result of mistaken identity.

  • I forgot to come back to work after lunch.

  • I couldn't find my shoes.

  • I hurt myself bowling.

  • I was spit on by a venomous snake.

  • I totaled my wife's jeep in a collision with a cow.

  • A hitman was looking for me.

  • My curlers burned my hair and I had to go to the hairdresser.

  • I eloped.

  • My brain went to sleep and I couldn't wake it up.

  • My cat unplugged my alarm clock.

  • I had to be there for my husband's grand jury trial.

  • I had to ship my grandmother's bones to India.

  • I forgot what day of the week it was.

  • Someone slipped drugs in my drink last night.

  • A tree fell on my car.

  • My monkey died.

Let's take this a step further. Send me excuses you actually have used. Here's a couple of mine.

  • My wheelchair broke down.

  • The lift on my van is stuck open.

  • The city bus driver didn't know how to operate the wheelchair lift.

  • It's way too cold outside to leave the house.

  • It's way too nice outside to be in the office.

  • I had race tickets for Sunday's race, which was rained out, so they are running it today.

  • My wife will be having two babies tomorrow. I'll be busy catching.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Friday Funnies: a couple LOLcats and one shameless plug

Is this the new flavor at Kungaloosh Gourmet Tea Company?

I'm Disabled and I Can Prove It

I'm disabled. 
I was born in 1970. About a year later I was diagnosed with spinal muscular atrophy. I never walked. I got my first wheelchair at kindergarten age, and my first power wheelchair in sixth grade.
Yet, around 4 to 6 times per year I have to, for one reason or another, prove that I'm disabled.
Granted, I'm 5 feet nothin', 112 pounds and sit in an electric wheelchair, but apparently that's just anecdotal evidence… We need science!
The Good Doctor
Every couple months I have to send my physician a form and ask him to fill it out. He has to state that I have spinal muscular atrophy, identify the diagnosis date, explained that my prognosis is something akin to "ain't getting better any time soon" and sign it.
With new Medicare regulations, the good doctor is not allowed to sign the said form without seeing me "face-to-face" to prevent fraud. Although I'm extraordinarily healthy, hospitalized last in 1996 for something unrelated to my dis…

Friday Funnies: Aging Gracefully

I pointed to two old drunks sitting across the bar from us and told my friend, "That's us in 10 years".

He said "That's a mirror, dip-shit!"
---