European Vacation

Mandy wouldn't let me pick my own question... so I had to choose it randomly by page number without looking. Here's a question from page 133.

Question #2: If you won an all-expenses-paid trip for two weeks, where would you go?

Mandy: Hawaii is tempting but... I'm going to say Europe. I'd want to travel around different countries, France, Germany, Spain, Austria, Switzerland, Italy and the former Czech Republic. (She's laughing at the Czech Republic. I think it's a fine place to live.)

I want to eat good food, drink good wine, and see lots of castles.

Jason: Please allow me to translate. She wants to visit France, and hook up with a guy named Pierre. She wants to stop in Germany and do it with a guy named Heinrich. Then head over and meet Miguel in Spain. Jet over to Austria for a tryst with Gustav. Ski a little in Switzerland, then head to Italy with Mario for some pasta. Lastly, she'd fly to Sweden with Inge and Sonia for a little lesbian menage a trois. Okay, that last bit may be just me fantasizing, but the rest is absolutely true.

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People who died on the toilet (real people and fictional characters)

Famous people who died on the toilet. Here is an extensive list of real people who died on the throne. Elvis Presley died of an overdose, falling off the toilet into a pile of his own vomit. Judy Garland died of an overdose discovered slumped over her toilet. King George II of Britain suffered a heart attack while sitting on the toilet. Wenceslaus III of Bohemia assassinated with a spear while he sat on the toilet. Godfrey IV, Duke of Lower Lorraine, was attacked by an assassin while sitting on the toilet. He died a week after the attack. Japanese warlord Uesugi Kenshin was assassinated with a spear while sitting on the toilet. British author Evelyn Waugh, who coincidently also married a woman named Evelyn, died on his toilet. Some believe he drowned in it, however his official cause of death was heart failure. Famed architect Louis Kahn suffered a heart attack and died on the toilet in New York City’s Penn station. One of the early Christian preachers, Arius, had been condemned as a…

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More Realistic Anniversary Gift Traditions

New Anniversary Gifts Destined to become Traditional My wife and I have been married for 20 years today. Over the past 20 years I made efforts each year to observe the traditional anniversary gifts. Some of them are certainly more difficult than others, and many of them are hard to find gift worthy in the modern age.
Therefore, I offer you a modern take on anniversary gifts. How many of these will become traditional?
First Anniversary – The Ramen Noodle anniversary. Let’s face it, you blew $30,000 on the wedding, and your student loan debt hasn’t gone anywhere. Share a Cup O’ Noodles. Eat with chopsticks on the floor because you can’t yet afford a couch.
Second Anniversary – The Puppy Anniversary. She’s been looking at you with those eyes that say she wants to start a family, but you just bought a new couch. Get her a puppy instead.
Third Anniversary – The Kinky Lingerie Anniversary. Leather, silk or lace can re-fire the engines after a year of flannel pajamas that smell like the puppy,…

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Friday Funnies: Car Repairs

Everyone wonders what all those dashboard symbols mean. Well, some dude named Dave has created this handy guide. I recommend you print it and glue it to your windshield.

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Morris the loudmouth mechanic was removing the cylinder heads from the motor of a car when he spotted the famous heart surgeon Dr. Michael DeBakey, who was standing off to the side, waiting for the service manager to come take a look at his Mercedes.

Morris shouted across the garage, "Hey DeBakey! Is dat you? Come on ova' here a minute." The famous surgeon, a bit surprised, walked over to where Morris the mechanic was working on the car.

Morris straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked argumentatively, "So Mr. Fancy Doctor, look at dis here work. I also open hearts, take valves out, grind 'em, put in new parts, and when I finish dis baby will purr like a kitten.

So how come you …

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SunFyre...words from a seated position

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