Attack of the Double Cheeseburger

My friend, Mandy, got one of those books with lots of "get to know you" questions. So we are going to try an experiment this evening and see how it goes. She's going to ask me a question and I'm going to answer truthfully... but I'm going to do it here!

I don't know the questions before they are asked.

Question #1... What is one mistake no one will let you forget?

Shortly after I got married my wife and I got a small apartment. The bathroom was so small my shower/toilet chair wouldn't fit in. For the first couple years we were married I had to rely on bed baths, and, believe it or not, I did my bowel movements in the living room. You see, I'd roll a shower chair into the next room where Kristie would place a large bucket to catch my well, my cannonballs. I would sit there and watched television for half an hour like king of my castle.

One evening, she rolled me into the living room just at the beginning of my favorite show to do one of my favorite activities... taking a post-double-cheeseburger dump. After a minute or two things were progressing nicely, and I was enjoying the show. I made a rather large deposit in just a few minutes. The next moment Kristie walks into the room with the bucket in her hand and said "Sorry it took me so long, mom called on my cell phone and... oh my gosh... what did you do!"

Apparently the television show is so good I had completely forgotten to wait until Kristie placed the bucket strategically. There was a large brown steaming cheeseburger in my living room.

The good news is that we're still married... that's true love!

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People who died on the toilet (real people and fictional characters)

Famous people who died on the toilet. Here is an extensive list of real people who died on the throne. Elvis Presley died of an overdose, falling off the toilet into a pile of his own vomit. Judy Garland died of an overdose discovered slumped over her toilet. King George II of Britain suffered a heart attack while sitting on the toilet. Wenceslaus III of Bohemia assassinated with a spear while he sat on the toilet. Godfrey IV, Duke of Lower Lorraine, was attacked by an assassin while sitting on the toilet. He died a week after the attack. Japanese warlord Uesugi Kenshin was assassinated with a spear while sitting on the toilet. British author Evelyn Waugh, who coincidently also married a woman named Evelyn, died on his toilet. Some believe he drowned in it, however his official cause of death was heart failure. Famed architect Louis Kahn suffered a heart attack and died on the toilet in New York City’s Penn station. One of the early Christian preachers, Arius, had been condemned as a…

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Personal Space: an invisible disability

The worst part about being disabled for me may surprise you. In a previous post I invited you to share your thoughts about disability. (See: The Worst Part of Being Disabled)

I face numerous frustrating challenges on a daily basis. I'm constantly dependent on others. I need help bathing and dressing. I can't drive, cook, hold a book or feed myself. I rely on family, employees, technology and the goodwill of others. Some days it's frustrating, but I've learned through experience how to manage all this help.

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My single biggest frustration however isn't getting the help I need or overco…

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How United Airlines Should Have Handled the Situation

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Here are the bullets:

The plane was already loaded and full.The airline needed to fly four employees to Louisville Kentucky on the plane. The employees needed to go to prevent another plane from departing late.The airline offered $800 in compensation to the first four people who would volunteer to give up their seats. No one took the offer.The airline went to a lottery, drawing for people at random. These four people were asked to leave the plane, and they would receive the compensation.One of the passengers refused to leave. It's unclear how things escalated, however he was removed by security officers. Reports are conflicting about whether the officers were police officers, TSA workers, or airline staff.The gentleman was literally physically dragged down the aisle receiving while screaming in protest and physically abused in the process.Ap…

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SunFyre...words from a seated position

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