Skip to main content

The Worst Senior Prom Ever

My turn again...

Question #5: What was the worst date you ever had?

SunFyre: My worst date I ever had, and I hope she gets to read this, was named Dawn. She was my date to my senior prom.

I had a friend who told me that Dawn, an incredibly pretty blonde who worked at the movie theater, was wondering if I had a prom date.

I'm a guy in a wheelchair who had dated maybe six times in my life prior to that. None of my dates had ever been in Dawn's league. I knew Dawn just a little. She had graduated the year before me, and now was working at the mall. I didn't even know her in high school.

Obviously, I asked her and she said "yes" on the spot. I was so excited. It was like one of those teen movies where the geek gets the pretty girl and remains popular for the rest of his high school career. My life was about to get wonderful.

I found out within 15 minutes at the dance that the only reason she wanted to go is because she knew her ex-boyfriend would be at the prom with his new girlfriend. Let's just say there was excessive yelling, and later excessive drinking in the bathroom. I never got to dance with her, and she spent most of the night in the ladies toilet.

I dropped her off early and went to after-prom by myself.

The good news is that I got my first girlfriend that night. Apparently Tammy had a crush on me, which she decided to share when she found out that I only dated Dawn because I was a shallow idiot. For some reason, women seem to be attracted to shallow idiots!

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

People who died on the toilet (real people and fictional characters)

Famous people who died on the toilet. Here is an extensive list of real people who died on the throne. Elvis Presley died of an overdose, falling off the toilet into a pile of his own vomit. Judy Garland died of an overdose discovered slumped over her toilet. King George II of Britain suffered a heart attack while sitting on the toilet. Wenceslaus III of Bohemia assassinated with a spear while he sat on the toilet. Godfrey IV, Duke of Lower Lorraine, was attacked by an assassin while sitting on the toilet. He died a week after the attack. Japanese warlord Uesugi Kenshin was assassinated with a spear while sitting on the toilet. British author Evelyn Waugh, who coincidently also married a woman named Evelyn, died on his toilet. Some believe he drowned in it, however his official cause of death was heart failure. Famed architect Louis Kahn suffered a heart attack and died on the toilet in New York City’s Penn station. One of the early Christian preachers, Arius, had been condemned as a…

More Realistic Anniversary Gift Traditions

New Anniversary Gifts Destined to become Traditional My wife and I have been married for 20 years today. Over the past 20 years I made efforts each year to observe the traditional anniversary gifts. Some of them are certainly more difficult than others, and many of them are hard to find gift worthy in the modern age.
Therefore, I offer you a modern take on anniversary gifts. How many of these will become traditional?
First Anniversary – The Ramen Noodle anniversary. Let’s face it, you blew $30,000 on the wedding, and your student loan debt hasn’t gone anywhere. Share a Cup O’ Noodles. Eat with chopsticks on the floor because you can’t yet afford a couch.
Second Anniversary – The Puppy Anniversary. She’s been looking at you with those eyes that say she wants to start a family, but you just bought a new couch. Get her a puppy instead.
Third Anniversary – The Kinky Lingerie Anniversary. Leather, silk or lace can re-fire the engines after a year of flannel pajamas that smell like the puppy,…

Friday Funnies: Car Repairs

Everyone wonders what all those dashboard symbols mean. Well, some dude named Dave has created this handy guide. I recommend you print it and glue it to your windshield.



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Morris the loudmouth mechanic was removing the cylinder heads from the motor of a car when he spotted the famous heart surgeon Dr. Michael DeBakey, who was standing off to the side, waiting for the service manager to come take a look at his Mercedes. 

Morris shouted across the garage, "Hey DeBakey! Is dat you? Come on ova' here a minute." The famous surgeon, a bit surprised, walked over to where Morris the mechanic was working on the car. 

Morris straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked argumentatively, "So Mr. Fancy Doctor, look at dis here work. I also open hearts, take valves out, grind 'em, put in new parts, and when I finish dis baby will purr like a kitten. 

So how come you …