Dear Mr. Gore... where the hell is my global warming?

For decades Al Gore has been talking about global warming.

Three years ago I bought a home in central Pennsylvania and wanted to make sure I was well-prepared for the coming climate crisis. I have a beautiful swimming pool, two decks, and large south facing windows. I was all ready for the new subtropical Pennsylvania that Mr. Gore promised!

Dear Mr. Gore... where the hell is my global warming?

I invested a tremendous amount of money in what I thought would be my winter home. I figured later I would get something in Northern Ontario so I can still see the seasons change.

At this moment it's 15° outside at two in the afternoon, and with the wind chill minus freaking 30! WTF!? (For those of you who don't know, that means "What the Fahrenheit".)

The kids had a two hour delay this morning because it's too cold. They're already calling for a delay tomorrow, because it's supposed to be COLDER.

Screw it... I'm buying a Hummer and driving to Florida!

You can save your comments about how a Hummer makes up for a small penis. It was huge, but I froze the freaking thing off!

Well, at least you can't accuse me of not "going green"!

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Friday Funnies: Funny Retail Signs

Well, it's Friday so maybe you're planning to do a little shopping tonight. Watch carefully, and you might find some entertaining retail signage such as these. Here's a collection of funny retail signs from around the globe, mostly from the good old USA.

If you're planning to stay overnight, make sure you have a shilling and a few extra pence if you need to stable your horse. Here are the Rules of Inn.

After Christmas wrapping paper goes on sale, and so does Rapping paper, apparently.

Special offers are everywhere! You can get two drinks for the price of two! Don't worry, after four you won't notice how much you're spending anyhow.

Sometimes no caption is necessary.

But I'm so hot. I'm sure everyone inside doesn't mind looking at me.

I didn't even bother going inside. Clearly I would violate several of these store rules.

This was seen on a Dairy Queen drive through. I always keep my secret ice cream money in my underwear.

You should pay a…

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An open letter to Emmanuel Macron, President of France

Dear Pres. Macron,

The President of the United States, Donald Trump, has been invited for the celebration of Bastille Day, a day for celebrating democracy and independence of the French people.

As a citizen of the United States, I encourage you to revoke the invitation. Donald Trump does not represent the vast majority of the American people. As you have stated publicly, if the United States is not going to support science, you have offered US scientists the option of emigrating to France for the continuation of their studies on climate change.

Additionally, Donald Trump has made his nationalist and blatantly racist feelings known on multiple occasions, again something I know that you personally find offensive.

The majority of Americans would support the decision for France to revoke his invitation. Citizens of the United States need to take responsibility for removing their country from a position of influence on the world stage. Our previous president, Barack Obama, strived to be a …

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Safe Sex with Donald and Daisy

Donald Duck and Daisy Duck were spending the night together in a hotel room and Donald started to get romantic with Daisy.

The first thing Daisy asked was, "Do you have any protection?"

Donald frowned and said, "No."

Daisy told Donald that if he didn't get any protection, they could not get romantic.

"Maybe they sell some supplies at the front desk," she suggested.

So Donald went down to the lobby and asked the hotel clerk if they had any supplies.

"Yes, we do," the clerk said and pulled a box out from under the counter and gave it to Donald.

The clerk asked, "Would you like me to put them on your bill?"

"HECK No!" Donald quacked, "I'll thuffocate!"

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SunFyre...words from a seated position

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