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Rules for Mom's Day Off

My wife has been rather stressed. Honestly, I probably have a lot to do with it. So, today I created a list of rules to give mom a day off from being mom. I printed them and hung them around the house for all to see.

I'll let you know how it works.


Today is Mom's Day off. Here are the rules. Obey them or get a beating.

  1. You cannot use the word "Mom". Today you may call her "Miss Kristie" or "Mrs. Tweed".
  2. She cannot fix you food. Learn to get yourself a snack or starve. As a matter of fact, you should bring a snack for Mom too.
  3. If you need anything, ask Dad.
  4. We will be doing all of Mommy's chores. We will clean. We will take care of the pets.
  5. The only reason you can't interrupt mommy is to give her a hug, or if there is a fire. It better be a big fire, or a big hug.
  6. The house will be quiet. Loud children will have duct tape placed on their lips.
  7. No visitors.
  8. Answer the phone, answer the door, be polite and take a message.
  9. Mom gets the TV remote.
  10. If Mom's door is closed, do not knock. Do not enter.
  11. If any instructions above are unclear, talk to Max. He has all of your answers.
  12. When Mom returns from her day off, the house will be in better shape than she left it.

Before any of you call children and youth services, I don't actually beat my kids and seldom duct tape them. It's meant to be funny.


  1. Can I get one of those lists to post around MY house?


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