TV commercials now show you how detergents take out bloodstains, a pretty violent image there. I think if you've got a T-shirt with a bloodstain all over it, maybe laundry isn't your biggest problem. ~ Jerry Seinfeld
There's so much comedy on television. Does that cause comedy on the streets? ~ Dick Cavett
A conservative minister walks into a hotel and goes to the desk. He walks up to te receptionist and says "Excuse me, have you disabled adult movies?" The receptionist replies "No. We just have the regular kind."
A man goes to see his doctor. He has a hot dog sticking out of one ear, a hot dog bun sticking out of the other, and two french fries jammed up his nose. He says to the doctor, "I'm not feeling well. What's wrong with me?"
The doctor says, "I'm not sure. Are you eating right?"