April Fools' Day 2012 -- Pranks from the Internet

Google has launched its first app for the original NES platform. Finally, Google maps is available for the Nintendo Entertainment System.

NASCAR has also invested heavily in technology. In cooperation with Google, the autonomous driving vehicles will debut for the 2013 NASCAR season. The sport where become more competitive as they remove the largest variable, the driver.

If you're like me, you're on the computer constantly. Now thanks to the latest innovation from Google Chrome I'm able to accomplish my work twice as fast. I'm making more money than ever, and have more time to spend with family and friends, while still watching all the porn I need to make my miserable life more enjoyable.

Speaking of efficiency, Gmail Tap is the latest technology making it possible to send e-mail from your Android phone using only two keys. Furthermore, with the newest version, Gmail Multi-Tap, you can actually write two e-mails simultaneously. Finally, texting is faster than telephone. After all you can only say one thing at a time. Not anymore...

I've been striving for more fiber in my diet. Additionally, I hate taking multivitamins. Two chewable vitamins every morning shaped like Wilma and Betty are far too much of a commitment. That's when I discovered the ultimate vitamin packed fiber bar.

These technologies are changing the way we travel, communicate, and poop. What a fantastic time to be alive.

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People who died on the toilet (real people and fictional characters)

Famous people who died on the toilet. Here is an extensive list of real people who died on the throne. Elvis Presley died of an overdose, falling off the toilet into a pile of his own vomit. Judy Garland died of an overdose discovered slumped over her toilet. King George II of Britain suffered a heart attack while sitting on the toilet. Wenceslaus III of Bohemia assassinated with a spear while he sat on the toilet. Godfrey IV, Duke of Lower Lorraine, was attacked by an assassin while sitting on the toilet. He died a week after the attack. Japanese warlord Uesugi Kenshin was assassinated with a spear while sitting on the toilet. British author Evelyn Waugh, who coincidently also married a woman named Evelyn, died on his toilet. Some believe he drowned in it, however his official cause of death was heart failure. Famed architect Louis Kahn suffered a heart attack and died on the toilet in New York City’s Penn station. One of the early Christian preachers, Arius, had been condemned as a…

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More Realistic Anniversary Gift Traditions

New Anniversary Gifts Destined to become Traditional My wife and I have been married for 20 years today. Over the past 20 years I made efforts each year to observe the traditional anniversary gifts. Some of them are certainly more difficult than others, and many of them are hard to find gift worthy in the modern age.
Therefore, I offer you a modern take on anniversary gifts. How many of these will become traditional?
First Anniversary – The Ramen Noodle anniversary. Let’s face it, you blew $30,000 on the wedding, and your student loan debt hasn’t gone anywhere. Share a Cup O’ Noodles. Eat with chopsticks on the floor because you can’t yet afford a couch.
Second Anniversary – The Puppy Anniversary. She’s been looking at you with those eyes that say she wants to start a family, but you just bought a new couch. Get her a puppy instead.
Third Anniversary – The Kinky Lingerie Anniversary. Leather, silk or lace can re-fire the engines after a year of flannel pajamas that smell like the puppy,…

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How United Airlines Should Have Handled the Situation

United Airlines is under fire for a viral video that shows them removing a passenger forcibly from an airplane bound for Louisville Kentucky.
Here are the bullets:

The plane was already loaded and full.The airline needed to fly four employees to Louisville Kentucky on the plane. The employees needed to go to prevent another plane from departing late.The airline offered $800 in compensation to the first four people who would volunteer to give up their seats. No one took the offer.The airline went to a lottery, drawing for people at random. These four people were asked to leave the plane, and they would receive the compensation.One of the passengers refused to leave. It's unclear how things escalated, however he was removed by security officers. Reports are conflicting about whether the officers were police officers, TSA workers, or airline staff.The gentleman was literally physically dragged down the aisle receiving while screaming in protest and physically abused in the process.Ap…

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SunFyre...words from a seated position

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