Coupons for breakfast in bed, etc. -- Homemade coupons suck. Let's face it, she doesn't really use them and they become a hand-decorated reminder of all the stuff you should be doing for Mom anyhow.
Appliances -- That fabulous new blender, a rotisserie chicken maker, the $300 Kitchen Maid mixer are just tools so that she can do more work in the kitchen. What is really saying is "Gee, wouldn't it be nice if you cooked more often?"
Washer/dryer/vacuum -- This says either "We needed a new one, so I'm passing off a household expense into the giftgiving budget." or "your cleanliness is below my standards, perhaps new tools would inspire you to do better."
A fishing rod or golf clubs -- When she says she wants to spend more time together, that doesn't mean you should buy her stuff so she can tag along on your favorite hobbies.
Anything available at 11 PM Saturday night -- You just got around to shopping so now you're at CVS or Dollar General because it's the only thing open. If you do buy her something here, I recommend headache medicine because I have a feeling she will be having quite a few headaches in the future.
Artificial flowers -- They are practical and inexpensive compared to real ones on Mother's Day. That's the point. Flowers are a luxury, particularly when they are expensive. Remember how you said you wanted a sports car, and she brought you the plastic Ferrari? Fake flowers are the equivalent for women. It was a crappy gift when she gave it to you, so don't return the favor.
Gym membership -- You want to encourage her to be healthy. What she hears is, "Now that you're a mother, let's get you back into those pre-pregnancy jeans."
Lingerie -- A mediocre gift on Valentine's Day is worse on Mother's Day. Remember how the entire "making a baby" thing started? She does.
Self-help books -- Women love them, but only if they purchased them themselves. Buying a self-help book is the first step, kind of like admitting your problem. Buying one as a gift is more like an intervention. She knows she lost her mind in early motherhood. Don't think this gift will help restore sanity.
A Puppy -- "You're such a great mother, here's something else to care for." Enough said.
I haven't decided what I am purchasing for my wife, but I know what I'm not buying. Besides, she reads this blog so I can't publish spoilers. Good luck, and if you have a great idea, post them below. I could use the help.
credits: This post was inspired by Mother's Day Gifts Mom Doesn't Want by Kathryn Williams. Photo licensed from 123RF Stock Photos
By the way, tea makes a good gift! You can order some for mom at Kungaloosh Gourmet Tea Company.