Skip to main content

Guide to a Successful Marriage

Two Doilies

As a new bride, Aunt Edna moved into the small home on her husband's ranch in Wyoming. She put a shoebox on a shelf in her closet and asked her husband never to touch it.

For fifty years, Uncle Jack left the box alone, until Aunt Edna was old and dying. One day, when he was putting their affairs in order, he found the box again and thought it might hold something important. Opening it, he found two hand tatted doilies and $82,500 in cash.

He took the box to her and asked about the contents.

"My mother gave me that box the day we married," Edna explained. "She told me to make a doily to help ease my frustrations every time I got mad at you."

Uncle Jack was very touched that in 50 years she'd only been mad at him twice.

"What's the $82,500 for?" he asked.

"Oh, that's the money I made selling the doilies," Edna replied.

Thanks Tim P. -- Heywood, Victoria, Australia 

Fifty Shades of Grey

Four men have been going fishing for many years.

This year, Ron's wife put her foot down and told him he wasn't going. Bitterly disappointed, he phoned and told the others that he couldn't go.

Two days later, the others arrived at the camping site, only to find Ron sitting there with a tent already set up.
"Ron, how did you talk your missus into letting you go?"

"Well, yesterday evening, after my wife finished reading 'Fifty Shades of Grey' she dragged me into the bedroom. On the bed she had handcuffs and ropes! She told me to tie and cuff her to the bed, so I did."

Then she said, "Do whatever you want."

So, here I am!


Popular posts from this blog

Friday Funnies: a couple LOLcats and one shameless plug

Is this the new flavor at Kungaloosh Gourmet Tea Company?

Friday Funnies: Funny Retail Signs

Well, it's Friday so maybe you're planning to do a little shopping tonight. Watch carefully, and you might find some entertaining retail signage such as these. Here's a collection of funny retail signs from around the globe, mostly from the good old USA.

If you're planning to stay overnight, make sure you have a shilling and a few extra pence if you need to stable your horse. Here are the Rules of Inn.

After Christmas wrapping paper goes on sale, and so does Rapping paper, apparently.

Special offers are everywhere! You can get two drinks for the price of two! Don't worry, after four you won't notice how much you're spending anyhow.

Sometimes no caption is necessary.

But I'm so hot.  I'm sure everyone inside doesn't mind looking at me.

I didn't even bother going inside.  Clearly I would violate several of these store rules.

This was seen on a Dairy Queen drive through.  I always keep my secret ice cream money in my underwear.

You should pay a…

How United Airlines Should Have Handled the Situation

United Airlines is under fire for a viral video that shows them removing a passenger forcibly from an airplane bound for Louisville Kentucky.
Here are the bullets:

The plane was already loaded and full.The airline needed to fly four employees to Louisville Kentucky on the plane. The employees needed to go to prevent another plane from departing late.The airline offered $800 in compensation to the first four people who would volunteer to give up their seats. No one took the offer.The airline went to a lottery, drawing for people at random. These four people were asked to leave the plane, and they would receive the compensation.One of the passengers refused to leave. It's unclear how things escalated, however he was removed by security officers. Reports are conflicting about whether the officers were police officers, TSA workers, or airline staff.The gentleman was literally physically dragged down the aisle receiving while screaming in protest and physically abused in the process.Ap…