I overate on Thanksgiving, as usual. If you're not sure, here are some of the signs...
- You ate the turkey, the pop-up thermometer and the plastic net.
- All your silverware is worn down to tiny stumps.
- Scientists are reporting a slight but measurable shift in the earth's axis.
- Paramedics brought in the Jaws of Life to pry you out of your chair.
- Your "Gravy Boat" seats 12!
- You ate enough potatoes to cause a shortage... in Idaho.
- Your morning jog registered a 3.9 on the Richter Scale.
- Pricking your finger for cholesterol screening only yielded gravy.
- The scale at the health food store registered "Error - 1 person only please" when you put in a quarter. When you pressed continue, it charged you a buck and a half.
- Nine guys tied ropes to you and tried to float you in the Macy's Parade.
- Your relatives want to go home, but they're stuck in your gravitational field.
- Representatives from the Butterball Hall of Fame called... twice.
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