Signs You May Have Overdone It on Thanksgiving

I overate on Thanksgiving, as usual. If you're not sure, here are some of the signs...

You ate the turkey, the pop-up thermometer and the plastic net.
All your silverware is worn down to tiny stumps.
Scientists are reporting a slight but measurable shift in the earth's axis.
Paramedics brought in the Jaws of Life to pry you out of your chair.
Your "Gravy Boat" seats 12!
You ate enough potatoes to cause a shortage... in Idaho.
Your morning jog registered a 3.9 on the Richter Scale.
Pricking your finger for cholesterol screening only yielded gravy.
The scale at the health food store registered "Error - 1 person only please" when you put in a quarter. When you pressed continue, it charged you a buck and a half.
Nine guys tied ropes to you and tried to float you in the Macy's Parade.
Your relatives want to go home, but they're stuck in your gravitational field.
Representatives from the Butterball Hall of Fame called... twice.

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Friday Funnies: a couple LOLcats and one shameless plug

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I'm Disabled and I Can Prove It

I'm disabled.
I was born in 1970. About a year later I was diagnosed with spinal muscular atrophy. I never walked. I got my first wheelchair at kindergarten age, and my first power wheelchair in sixth grade.
Yet, around 4 to 6 times per year I have to, for one reason or another, prove that I'm disabled.
Granted, I'm 5 feet nothin', 112 pounds and sit in an electric wheelchair, but apparently that's just anecdotal evidence… We need science!
The Good Doctor
Every couple months I have to send my physician a form and ask him to fill it out. He has to state that I have spinal muscular atrophy, identify the diagnosis date, explained that my prognosis is something akin to "ain't getting better any time soon" and sign it.
With new Medicare regulations, the good doctor is not allowed to sign the said form without seeing me "face-to-face" to prevent fraud. Although I'm extraordinarily healthy, hospitalized last in 1996 for something unrelated to my dis…

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SunFyre...words from a seated position

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