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New Years’ Resolutions for the Weak-Willed

It seems like every year I make a resolution or two. Like many of you, sometimes they last all year, but most of the time they make it a couple of weeks.

Here’s the problem. It’s not that you don’t have will power, it’s just that you’re picking resolutions that are too hard and not very much fun at all. So you want to drink less, lose weight, get out of credit card debt, and spend more time with your kids. But unfortunately spending time with your kids can be expensive, which causes you to use the credit cards more often, taking them out to eat which makes you gain weight, and then after dinner out with your kids you need a drink (or two).

Seriously, it’s mid-January and you’ve already screwed yourself for the year.

I’m taking a different strategy. My resolutions are going to be awesome. They’re going to be fun and easy to keep.

Welcome the Year of Happiness

I’m declaring 2013 the Year of Happiness. Here’s how I plan to do it.

Resolution #1: Eat more bacon. 

Have you tried this stuff? It’s freakin’ awesome. It’s salty, meaty, and goes with pretty much everything. You can buy extra lean bacon, but who wants that crap? I think I’m going to eat bacon every day in 2013. 

Yes, bacon is bad for me. But, I’m not planning to chomp a whole pig every morning. My goal is to fry up a couple slices of awesome, and stick it on the side of my plate. A big glass of orange juice with calcium and a couple strips of bacon aren’t going to kill me young, plus I could really use the calcium. Eating right doesn’t have to be eating perfect, just better than you did last year.

Resolution #2: Buy a cool car! 

I’ve been driving a full size van for the past 25 years. I’ve only had two cars, and I drove them both until they were extremely out-of-date. The first one was a Ford van, and the second was a Chevy. They both lasted a dozen years and in all that time I never felt “cool”. Let’s face it. A full-size van is only a small step up from the minivan, aka the “dorky dad mobile”. Seriously, I’m 42 years old and have worked hard all my life. I deserve to have at least on cool car. 

Finally a company has built a car that’s at least moderately cool for people with disabilities. I’m going to get me one! 

The car is the MV-1 made by VPG.  It’s $41,000 but I’m saving slowly. A new van, with a wheelchair lift, usually runs around $50,000 so I’m saving $9,000 and actually getting a bit cooler.

Resolution #3: Choose happiness! 

It’s been a rough year for me. I quit a job I used to love. I fell out of favor with my dad, who was also my best friend. I spent all of my savings and then some while being unemployed. Between money problems, struggles with my career, and the inevitable links those both have to my marriage, I wouldn’t say 2012 was a happy year. 

However, I didn’t give up. I worked harder than I have in years. I’m tired, but happy.

What I realized is that happiness is a choice you can make consciously. You can choose to be happy or to be unhappy. You can choose to approach life with enthusiasm or remain depressed. You can actually choose healthiness or sickness.

This year, I choose happiness. This year, I choose enthusiasm. This year I choose health. This year, I choose to have the best year of my life driving a cool car and eating bacon. Everything else is bound to get better too.


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