Skip to main content

Friday Funnies: Dog Days of Summer



L.A. public pools don’t have lifeguards—[they] have life coaches. If they see you struggling in the water, they say, “Are you happy with the decisions you’re making?” and give you a pamphlet for a yoga studio.

~ Craig Ferguson
– –

A commuter train from New York to Washington DC suddenly lost power and slowed down to a crawl.

The conductor comes on the intercom. "Good news and bad news.The bad news is we've lost power and are coming to a stop. The good news… You're on a train not an airplane."
– –

We use a really strong sunblock when we go to the beach with the kids. It’s SPF 80: You squeeze the tube, and a sweater comes out.

~ Lew Schneider
– –

Summer has the dumbest names for holidays.

What day do we try to get everyone together? Independence Day.

What day does everyone have off work? Labor Day.
– –

A shepherd was teaching his apprentice

"Lad, how many sheep are in the field?"

After a moment the apprentice said "18".

"Well done, now round them up."

"20"
– –

Some people take up swimming for exercise so they will live longer.

Some people take up swimming just to live longer.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Friday Funnies: a couple LOLcats and one shameless plug

Is this the new flavor at Kungaloosh Gourmet Tea Company?

Friday Funnies: Aging Gracefully

I pointed to two old drunks sitting across the bar from us and told my friend, "That's us in 10 years".

He said "That's a mirror, dip-shit!"
---





Sunfyre's Google Glass Fundraiser (a.k.a. shameless begging)

Well, Google Glass went on sale today for a limited time to the general public.

Unfortunately, I can't exactly spare $1500 right now.… Commence shameless begging!

I try not to play the "help the disabled guy" card.  It goes against my nature. But in this case, I figured I'd make an exception (at least this is how I'm rationalizing it in my own head).

Google Glass has amazing potential for people like me. I can't use my arms or legs any longer. I use my voice recognition software to type, design websites, write articles and marketing plans for clients.

In the era of smart phones, they aren't very friendly to people like me. Most of them can't be navigated with a mouse, and even Apple's Siri doesn't do a great job with voice activation. First, you have to press a button just to get her attention.

but with this device, which connects through my android phone, I'd be able to read email and navigate my basic telephone functions with wearable g…