Friday Funnies: Dog Days of Summer

L.A. public pools don’t have lifeguards—[they] have life coaches. If they see you struggling in the water, they say, “Are you happy with the decisions you’re making?” and give you a pamphlet for a yoga studio.

~ Craig Ferguson
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A commuter train from New York to Washington DC suddenly lost power and slowed down to a crawl.

The conductor comes on the intercom. "Good news and bad news.The bad news is we've lost power and are coming to a stop. The good news… You're on a train not an airplane."
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We use a really strong sunblock when we go to the beach with the kids. It’s SPF 80: You squeeze the tube, and a sweater comes out.

~ Lew Schneider
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Summer has the dumbest names for holidays.

What day do we try to get everyone together? Independence Day.

What day does everyone have off work? Labor Day.
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A shepherd was teaching his apprentice

"Lad, how many sheep are in the field?"

After a moment the apprentice said "18".

"Well done, now round them up."

"20"
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Some people take up swimming for exercise so they will live longer.

Some people take up swimming just to live longer.

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Marvels of the Science: Rocks and Things

My kids have a science test today. We've been studying rocks and minerals, erosion and weathering, and other science-y geology stuff all week.

All that work, and we just should have done in Internet search. After all, everything on the Internet is factual when it comes to science.

Here's a perfect example, a quick documentary that teaches us everything we know about rocks and 2 minutes and 43 seconds.

Stretch your brains!

The Least Scientific Nature Documentary Ever -- powered by Cracked.com

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More Realistic Anniversary Gift Traditions

New Anniversary Gifts Destined to become Traditional My wife and I have been married for 20 years today. Over the past 20 years I made efforts each year to observe the traditional anniversary gifts. Some of them are certainly more difficult than others, and many of them are hard to find gift worthy in the modern age.
Therefore, I offer you a modern take on anniversary gifts. How many of these will become traditional?
First Anniversary – The Ramen Noodle anniversary. Let’s face it, you blew $30,000 on the wedding, and your student loan debt hasn’t gone anywhere. Share a Cup O’ Noodles. Eat with chopsticks on the floor because you can’t yet afford a couch.
Second Anniversary – The Puppy Anniversary. She’s been looking at you with those eyes that say she wants to start a family, but you just bought a new couch. Get her a puppy instead.
Third Anniversary – The Kinky Lingerie Anniversary. Leather, silk or lace can re-fire the engines after a year of flannel pajamas that smell like the puppy,…

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Donald Trump Hates Freedom of the Press, But Why?

Donald J Trump is challenging the concept of free press. He has publicly ridiculed ABC, CBS, NBC, CNN, BBC, the New York Times, the Washington Post, MSNBC, and many other news organizations. Some have called out his twitter rants as being distinctly fascist.
This past week on Meet the Press, John McCain, a Republican member of the U.S. Senate, while not mentioning Donald Trump specifically, called suppression of the press "how dictators get started". Freedom of the Press in the Constitution
Freedom of the Press isn't a new concept. Our founding fathers put it into the original Bill of Rights. Even in the 1789 they realized that a free press was essential for maintaining checks and balances to the power of government.

The Press in Colonial America
Thomas Jefferson, John Adams, Alexander Hamilton and James Madison understood the power and value of the press. But what, exactly, was the press in pre-Constitution America? In colonial America around 1760 there were only 24 new…

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SunFyre...words from a seated position

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