Many of us have a keyboard we use daily. Maybe it's at home or maybe at work. Next time you are sitting there, especially if the room is well lit, look at the keys. Not the overall keyboard; look at the individual keys. They aren't all the same color. Some are perfectly beige while others are slightly brown. Some look pristine like they've never been used. Others look like they have a brown film over them.
My [E] key and arrow keys are perfect. I probably use them more than any others. Every word has an E, or most anyhow. The arrow keys I use while playing EverQuest and any of half a dozen other games. Zero scum factor!
Then there is [F5]. I'm not sure what this key is used for. I think it's primarily a spacer between [F1] and [F12]. Mine is absolutely disgusting. It had a slight discoloration, until I scratched it with an unsharpened pencil. I dug into about four years of filth. I've only touched that key about three times and two of those were typos.
I called my friend Mandy last night. She's the one person to whom I can describe my disgusting habits, and she won't think less of me, well, not much less of me. I wanted to see if her keyboard was disgusting too. Understand, she's a neat freak. People with OCD think she cleans too much.
She confirmed for me that even her keyboard had grime. Hers was on [Scroll Lock] and I secretly wondered what she does with her [F5]. I told her to scratch it with something hard. She also had an unsharpened pencil handy, go figure. The next thing I heard was "ewwww!" She found out the degree of grime.
At this point I realize the scum problem is pervasive, and it was SunFyre's duty to inform the public. I'm writing to you this morning to make you aware of the potential filth at your fingertips.
Granted, I haven't actually cleaned mine. I imagine Mandy has already purchased industrial strength solvent, or more likely, simply thrown her keyboard away and replaced it.
Scummy,
Roughly
100 years ago my sister started dating her boyfriend. They've gone
from Philadelphia to New York City to Richmond, VA. They witnessed New
York under terrorist attack and weathered Hurricane
Isabel. And this
weekend, they finally got engaged.
Congratulations, Jennifer and Vincent!
He had a ring custom designed. He proposed on Monument Boulevard, as they walked their funny looking dog on a crisp December evening. She said "yes" on the spot, at the foot of Jefferson Davis.
It got me to thinking about my own proposal, now eight years passed.
I was scheduled to give a speech at Clarion University in Pennsylvania. Kristie was in college, and I stole her away for the weekend. We went from Clarion to Edinboro to visit my alma mater. I introduced her to my old haunts and a few of the ghosts that still reside there.
I packed a bag of gifts. I figured I couldn't sneak a ring box without her noticing for three days. I wrapped the ring and put it into a large gift bag with about four or five other gifts. I told her I had a gift for each day. One was a CD of road trip music.
After
Edinboro we drove to Niagara Falls. One of her gifts was a hotel
brochure. Niagara Falls is cheap in late October. We stayed the
night and had dinner out. I bought a two-glass bottle of champagne,
but didn't open it.
The
next day around noon, we were standing at the crest of the Horseshoe
Falls. It was an absolutely awesome site, and witnessing Kristie
seeing it for the first time was a powerful experience, one I'd certainly
not forgotten even had I not proposed.
"It's gift time again." I said for the third time that weekend. She looked at me like, "Not now, don't ruin a moment." But she reached into the bag and pulled out the box.
We'd been virtually alone on a rainy October day in Canada up until that moment. A tour bus filled with Japanese tourists pulled up behind me and began to unload just as I'm popping the question. It added to the surreal ambiance.
She was dumbfounded. She knelt beside my wheelchair and hugged me and whispered "yes" in my ear with tears welling. I looked down to her and after a few minutes asked "What are you thinking at this very moment?"
"I'm thinking, I didn't expect to be the one on my knees on this day." And we both burst out laughing.
We excused ourselves from the Japanese visitors and hit a coffee shop and sipped cocoa. We tried to figure out how to tell her parents, who weren't thrilled with our relationship (extreme understatement).
We
finally said we would put it in God's hands and hope he led her parents to
love us as a couple as much as they love her as their daughter. We
walked outside and felt the sun. While sipping our cocoa the weather
completely changed. A hot fall sun beat down and the sky was
cloudless.
Rainbows appeared. Dozens. Some below the falls where rainbows frequent, but many in the sky where they are rare even in Niagara. We counted more than 20 and they followed us throughout the day as the stormy weather passed around us. We took it as a promise of happiness, a promise to us from God.
He's kept his promise.
Still completely engaged,
Today we have a reader submission from my friend Ellen. I'm not sure the original author, but it made me laugh.
I hate this time of year. Not for its crass commercialism and forced frivolity, but because it's the season when the food police come out with their wagging fingers and annual tips on how to get through the holidays without gaining 10 pounds. You can't pick up a magazine without finding a list of holiday eating do's and don'ts. Eliminate second helpings, high-calorie sauces and cookies made with butter, they say. Fill up on vegetable sticks, they say. Good grief! Is your favorite childhood memory of Christmas a carrot stick? I didn't think so. Mine isn't, either. A carrot was something you left for Rudolph.
I have my own list of tips for holiday eating. I assure you, if you follow them, you'll be fat and happy. So what if you don't make it to New Year's? Your pants won't fit anymore, anyway.
But hurry! Cookieless January is just around the corner.
I got most of my shopping complete over the weekend. I still need to stuff a couple stockings.
Last year I realized
that the only thing better than waiting for Santa is being Santa.
I'm having so much fun finding things for the kids. I'm realizing that
even as commercial as Christmas has become, and how Jesus seems to take a
backseat, that it's all about children. I think even God understands
that, after all, we have the Bible Christmas story about a baby born of
hardship to whom kings and shepherds bear gifts.
I did most of my shopping online this year. We've had two snowstorms, both on nights Kristie and I had made arrangements to shop. Besides Saturday I haven't been out shopping at all. I did spend over $280 on Amazon. I got amazing deals and zero shipping. Over 50% of my shopping was done online after 10 p.m. I've already gotten email confirmation that my items, save two, have shipped.
DVD's for the babies. Music for my brother and Rick. Books for my sisters. And some other stuff for my wife, but she snoops on SunFyre so I'll tell you about the gifts after Christmas!
I
created a wish
list with great ideas for babies. Since many people used it, the
babies earned between 5% and 15% toward college. I've decided that
100% of revenue from Amazon through SunFyre will go toward the babies'
college fund.
Check out their wish list and you can help educate short people too!
Last month we
got the babies a flu shot. They were recommending the vaccine for
children 23 months old and under. Ours were 18 months old at the
time. For children getting their first shot, they give one, then one
month later give a booster. Our pediatrician does a children's flu
clinic. They told us if we come back December 13th between 8 a.m. and
noon the shots are free and no appointment is necessary.
We arrived at 10 a.m. this morning. We figured we'd get the kids the booster and take them to the mall to finish shopping.
Apparently, flu hysteria has struck Pennsylvania! The pediatrician's office has two large waiting rooms and one smaller room. The line went out the front door and around the corner down to the next block. We drove past the line seeing almost exclusively school age children. Information I'd seen recently recommended the vaccine only for babies, people over 50, and people prone to respiratory infection.
A woman was walking out with her daughters, roughly five and nine years old. We were still looking for parking and we asked her how quickly the line was moving. "I got here just before eight." She replied. We decided we weren't waiting in that line for two hours, especially considering the temperature was well below freezing.
Off to the mall...
I typically shun mall toy stores during the month of December. Around here all we have is KB Toys, which are like bargain basement stores, lots of cheap crap. I'd rather shop at Toys' R' Us or even Amazon. I had to run inside to buy a gift card for my friend's little boy. He helps out with the babies every morning before school. We wanted to get him something little. We stood in line for about 15 minutes and heard "Don't forget your batteries" about 12 times, as the $6 per hour slacker behind the counter said it and pointed to a rack of $4.00 Duracells.
Line number three was at Arby's. We went in around 11 a.m. for early lunch. It was already quite full and filling up fast. We stuck the kids into the Rubbermaid high chairs. (Incidentally, Rubbermaid high chairs are the best around. Unfortunately they are only available to restaurants.) And I stayed with them until Kristie went through the line. There were two lines, she was third in the shortest line. Twenty-five minutes goes by and she's still in line. The other line had completely recycled about three times. The guy behind the counter was a complete idiot and incredibly slow. He made a mistake and started over on each of the three people in front of her.
There was a young man to with Downs Syndrome who was busing tables. I was about to tell him to get on the cash register. The guy with Downs Syndrome probably would have learned the skills slowly, but he could have learned them and would probably never forget. The "normal" guy doing the job down never got it, never would, and would never give a crap.
In case you are wondering, I had a deli turkey sandwich on rye, and potato cakes. Both delicious.
About 6 shorter lines later it was nearly nap time, for both the babies and me. So we came home.
Last night the kids went to bed early. I guess the Christmas Tree excitement tired them out.
I played EverQuest until 11, then we went to bed. At 3:00 in the morning I heard a loud crash, followed by a loud thud. I woke up hysterical, and was trying to figure out the noise. "Check on the babies, somebody fell out of bed!" Kristie jumps up, naked. She runs down the hall to the babies room. Sleeping, like babies. As she's running I'm thinking that they sleep in pack-n-plays which are virtually impossible to topple, especially as tight as their bedroom is.
Brain starts waking up more. I remembered the toy box in the living room. It's huge, solid wood and overflowing. Maybe the cats slammed it shut, knocking off the toys from the top layer.
Kristie's mind is waking up now too. She's not thinking cats... she's thinking cat burglars. Now she's at the other end of the house, without a pocket to carry a gun. (Actually, we don't have a gun even if she had a pocket.)
She makes her way back toward the bedroom and turns on the living room light. That's when she sees the culprit. The Christmas Tree is laying on its side in the middle of the room.
It took her about 30 minutes to reset the tree. I was going to ask her to take a picture for SunFyre.com, but I'd be writing about my pending divorce if I had.
The next day our friend, Kyle, came over and re-attached the stand. The tree had a significant bend in the trunk, and the stand didn't fit well. He stuck a couple megablocks in it. That made it much more sturdy.
It's late Saturday evening now. My heart has finally slowed down from 3 a.m.
It
snowed 12 inches today. It really started feeling like Christmas in
Pennsylvania. We hadn't had any white stuff yet, then it came with a
heavy yet pleasant snow. A Norman Rockwell snow.
Kristie came home an hour early from work, bearing a Christmas tree. It was fairly short and extremely fat. It was almost as big across as tall. She said "It didn't look nearly that big outdoors as it does in the living room."
The Twins were absolutely fascinated. They touched it and laughed. Kristie and our neighbor snapped it into our stand. She laid underneath and twisted the screws, and Jason crawled underneath with her. He laid their laughing, looking up through the branches.
Later we put on colored lights, and lots of unbreakable ornaments. The glass ones will come back out next year. The kids have spent the rest of the day taking things on and off.
It's starting to feel like Christmas, so I guess I should start my shopping.
Go to November 2003 Archive