SunFyre...words from a seated position

As you probably know, I've been blogging since 2001 here at SunFyre. SunFyre has always been my test blog. I enjoy writing, but they also use this blog to test out new marketing approaches. After seven years, I'm going for the big time.

I have created a new blog called Jason's Million.My theory is that I can earn $1 million online by giving away secrets of earning money online. Over the past 11 years I've generated over $2 million in sales online, most of that since 2001 when I started this blog.

Here's how you can help.

• Visit the blog at www.JasonsMillion.com.
• If you see an interesting ad, click on it.
• Sign up for the newsletter.
• If you have a website, link to the blog.
• If you have friends, and we know that's a big if, ask them to visit the blog.
• If you are on Facebook, MySpace, Digg, Technorati, Reddit, del.icio.us or any other social bookmarking or social networking site, post a link to the blog.
• Post your comments on the blog.
• Follow its instructions, and make $1 million of your own.

Labels: blogs, cool links, Jason's Million, making money

My kids have a snow day today. They have been fighting all day and driving me crazy,and it's only 10:20 a.m. Here are a few comics about snow. They aren't hysterical, but they may make you smile just enough to prevent you from beating your children. (I'll settle for little victories today.)

Labels: comics, Friday Funnies, humor, weather

When you're trying to find that perfect card for that special someone, Valentine's Day is the perfect time to express your true feelings. Unfortunately, what if your true feelings aren't all that romantically inclined? Here are some Valentine's Day cards that didn't make the cut, but maybe we wish they would have.

Labels: Friday Funnies, holidays, humor, videos

Many of us have a wish list of places we'd like to visit. Maybe you want to see kangaroos in Australia, the Eiffel Tower, Easter Island or maybe you want to go to Warrensburg, New York, home of the world's largest garage sale.

However, if you're interested in longer distance travel, perhaps throughout the solar system, it's important to get the facts before you leave. You don't want to simply hop on a space shuttle and say "take me where you're going" because you may not like your destination.

Here's my list of where you should go in the solar system to get the most out of your travel dollar!

If you're morbidly obese try Mercury or Mars where your 300 pound butt cheeks will only weigh 124 pounds.

If you just want to get in your skinny jeans again visit Uranus where your 150 pound frame will be down to 129 pounds. (Please hold your jokes having to do with tight jeans on Uranus, that's so sixth grade.)

If you just want to impress the friends before your class reunion asked them to hold it on Saturn or Venus. If you weigh 120 pounds, you'll be down to your high school weight of 109.

Guys, are you a little on the skinny side? Your 160 pound weakling ass will look like a buff 176 on Neptune. Alien babes will swear you're working out.

Speaking of weakling asses, if you want to be buff rather than just appear buff, take a short trip to Earth's moon. Your 75 pound bench press now rings in at a cool 450.

Speaking of moons, if you're looking for a romantic place to enjoy the moonlight, try Jupiter, it's got 62 of them. Your girlfriend will be impressed, but I hope you like big beautiful women because on Jupiter your 95 pound girlfriend tops out well over 200.

Do you like warmer climates? Visit Mercury where, in the summer things heat up to a comfortable 801°F. Just don't make a mistake and visit in the winter when the temperature is -279°F. It's a little hard to figure out when summer starts in winter ends because their year is only 88 days long.

Have you ever wondered where global warming is going to end? Visit Venus for a first-hand case study. There the Venusians, not to be confused with Venetians, used up all their oxygen. Their atmosphere is similar to our if you replace all the oxygen with carbon dioxide. The thick clouds keep Venus a constant 864°F, but remember it's not the heat, it's the humidity.

Have you ever wished you had just a few minutes extra each day? Visit Mars. You'll get an extra 40 minutes each day. Are you a real workaholic? Try Mercury where each day lasts 59 Earth days. Just be careful because, as we've already mentioned their year is only 88 Earth days, so your wake-up mid spring, and won't be ready for a nap until late fall.

Does your girlfriend want to spend every day with you? Move to Neptune, days are only 16 hours long. Just make sure she doesn't want to spend a hundred years with you, because a year last 165 Earth years. Save your money for calendars, a Neptune page-a-day calendar would have slightly under 90,000 pages. At least your kids won't have to share birthdays... with anyone.

Do you like to walk? Visit Pluto. You can walk the entire planet in about the same amount of time as it would take you to walk across Alaska and back. Wear a coat however, because the temperature is a steady -385°F. Just in case you're wondering, that's about 40°K. At 0°K, all molecular motion stops. That's cold.

Maybe you're a storm chaser. If you think the tornadoes of Kansas are impressive, visit Jupiter. That big red spot is a giant storm three times wider than Earth. The storm has been around for hundreds of years. I wouldn't recommend chasing it either, because the air pressure is so strong it would crush your SUV like a Styrofoam cup.

Do you like to this ancient ruins? Try the asteroid belt, a collection of 90,000+ orbiting bodies. Some of them as wide as 600 miles, while others are less than a kilometer. Some people believe these fragments are ruins of ancient planet or moon's. Others believe that some of the moons of Mars are old asteroids that got trapped by Mars' orbit. What goes around, comes around.

Feel like getting away from it all, hop on a comet. While these interstellar tour buses are fascinating, a round-trip on Halley's comet takes 76 years... and this is considered a short period comet. Some comets don't revisit our solar system for as long as 30 million years. You'd better take a snack.

Last but not least, perhaps you're sick of our solar system altogether. You want to visit a neighboring star. Our closest buddy (and best friend, pun intended) is named Sirius, a.k.a. the Dog Star. It's a long trip, about a 17 year round-trip, if traveling at the speed of light. Unfortunately, until technology gives us a warp drive you have to rely on current technology. Voyager 2 can make the trip one way in about 300,000 years, but we haven't figured out how to bring it back yet, so plan on staying for a while.

And there you have it, SunFyre's Travel Guide to the Solar System. Please note that all verified facts were confirmed by NASA, and all verified lies were confirmed by SunFyre. Much of this article is somewhere in between.

Labels: astronomy, exploration, humor, travel

Ever since last Sunday I have had Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers in my head. I've always liked Tom Petty, and really enjoyed his Super Bowl concert. I thought it was the best Super Bowl halftime show since Janet Jackson and her left breast appeared.

But now, Running down a Dream or one of the other songs has been cruising my brain for about three days.

This morning my wife asked me "When you turned over last night in bed, were you singing?"

"No."

"Actually, you were." She explained, "I just didn't know if you were aware of it."

Apparently about four o'clock this morning I rolled over and woke up Kristie in the process. As I was going back to sleep, she said I was mumbling and singing to myself. It was very quiet and she couldn't make out the song, but she said it was definitely singing. I talk in my sleep frequently, but this was a first.

I don't remember singing, or even dreaming, but I suspect Tom Petty was the culprit.

Labels: celebrities, music, sleep deprivation

It's official, there is six more weeks of winter to be had, according to the official groundhog of Groundhog Day, Punxsutawney Phil. He came out of his house to see his shadow.

You can visit the official Groundhog Day website and read his full prediction.

"As I look around me, a bright sky I see, and a shadow beside me. Six more weeks of winter it will be!"

Last year the groundhog predicted an early end to winter. Does that mean that we've returned to normalcy, therefore global warming is no longer an issue? Probably not.

Punxsutawney Pennsylvania is located near Pittsburgh in the southwest corner of Pennsylvania. Ironically, this is one of the areas that will be first affected by global warming. Generally Pennsylvania has mild winters with a handful of significant snows each year. Every two or three years we will have a blizzard where we receive in excess of a foot of snow.

The last time we received a significant snowfall was when my children were less than a year old. The Twins are five now. Even that snowfall was only about 10 inches, not officially a blizzard.

The groundhog gave us another year, but it's time that we do something. I challenge you to make a difference in your life between now and next Groundhog Day to reduce your carbon emissions. Perhaps we can actually generate another blizzard, and balance the world again.

Labels: global warming, holidays