CEO of the Day

Sunbathing

Joan, a rather well-proportioned woman, planned to spend almost all of her vacation sunbathing. She found the ideal spot on the roof of her hotel. It was deserted and secluded, with a smooth, raised "deck" which received the sun all day long. She wore a bathing suit on the first day, but on the second, she decided that since no one could see her way up there, she would slip out of it and get rid of the tan lines on her back.

She'd been lying there on her stomach for a little while when she heard someone running up the stairs toward the roof. Startled, she didn't have time to pull on her suit, and since she was lying on her stomach, she just pulled a towel over her rear.

"Excuse me, Miss," said the flustered assistant manager of the hotel, out of breath from running up the stairs. "The Hilton doesn't mind you sunbathing up here, but we would very much appreciate your wearing a bathing suit, as you did yesterday"

"YESTERDAY!" she exclaimed, rather irritated..."Have you been following me around? And besides, what difference does it make ANYWAY, since no one except a nosy assistant manager can see me? I'm on the top floor and I'm covered with a towel.."

"Well, that would be true," said the little man embarrassed, "except for the fact that you're lying on the dining room skylight."

First Day on the Job

A young man joined a big multi-national company as a junior trainee.  On his first day, he dialed the in-house canteen and shouted into the phone: Bring me a f**** cup of coffee, immediately!"

The voice from the other side responded: You fool, you've dialed the wrong extension! Do you know who you're talking to?

"No," replied the trainee.

"It's the Managing Director of the company, idiot!"

The trainee shouted back: "And do you know who YOU are f**** talking to, YOU idiot?"

"No!" replied the Managing Director indignantly.

"Good!" replied the trainee and put down the phone.

Walking the Dog

A little girl asked her Mom, "Mom, may I take the dog for a walk around the block?

"Mom replies, "No, because she is in  heat."

"What's that mean?" asked the child.

"Go ask your father.  I think he's in the garage."

The little girl goes to the garage and  says, "Dad, may I take Belle for a walk around the block? I  asked Mom, but she said the dog was in heat, and to come to you."

Dad said, "Bring Belle over here."

He took a rag, soaked it with  gasoline, and scrubbed the dog's backside with it and said, "Okay,  you can go now, but keep Belle on the leash and only go one  time around the block."

The little girl left, and returned a few minutes later with no dog. Surprised, Dad asked, "Where's  Belle?"

The little girl said, "She ran out of gas about  halfway down the block, so another dog is pushing her home."

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